Two and a half months for my birthday and I’ll be 24. Twentyyyyy Fourrr !!! It’s scary and exciting. But, mostly scary. Even though, it shouldn’t be!
I know this shouldn’t petrify me, but it does! I know this shouldn’t make me promptly go into panic mode, but it does! And frankly, I started panicking the year I turned 22. I know 24 isn’t an ‘old’ age. I know turning 24 isn’t a huge milestone like hitting the thirties. But, it’s such an odd feeling to know that another year has passed.
Just two years back I was a carefree girl who used to sleep and daydream half of the time, copy assignments, break the hostel silent hours, match outfits with my girl gang for those time restricted Sunday outings and would not miss a single chance to crack my infamous PJ’s anytime and anywhere!! Yes I was known for my PJ’s !
Till then, turning 24 used to seem like the kind of age where I should be clear about my goals. 24 seemed like the kind of age where I should be sorted and organized. 24 seemed like the kind of age where I would maybe start caring about what I feed my body. And 24 seemed like the kind of age where I would start speaking more sensible.
Twenty four seemed to me like the age where maturity is in full swing.
But, now when 24 is actually approaching, I don’t feel ready to act like an adult. I have come to understand that to be agitated about growing older is pointless. No matter what age I am, I want to do things without caring what people think about me. I want to go on crazy adventures. I want to travel the world and I want to run free the same way like I did when I was seven.
Its nobody else but us who have built the mentality that by now we have to ‘get our life together’. Society has set some crazy goals that need to be checked off by now. Society says that we need to act like adults already and that we need to fit a certain mold to make our family proud. But I feel that we still have so much time to do all that we want. We still have so much time to reach our dreams. And moreover, there is no handbook that tells us what things we should have crossed off our list by now.
So, when I turn 24, although I know I will be nervous, I’m going to try to remain calm. I’m not going to do things just because I feel intimidated to. I’m not going to go after things that I do not want. I’m not going to do what other people think I should be doing. And I’m going to try not to feel like I’m falling behind anyone else and I’m a loser.
I am aware that I will have only one more year until my quarter life crisis! Because everyone obviously has one, right?
But I really don’t want a number to define me and make me feel inadequate. I want to take my own time. I am sure I’ll get there eventually.