In this journey of 23 years, I have come a long way, from being a submissive little girl who was reliant on Mom for every small decision to a girl who is bold and independent in her career and confident to define her life by herself. I can stay far from home and do my daily chores myself and am capable to manage a balanced work and personal life. But has this changed anything? Has the authority of my life now passed on to me?
There are times when I feel like an outsider in the life I call my own – delineated by the people I call mine and constricted to a place I call my home. Not that I am tired of taking opinions, but I am scared to take decisions that are right but go against the orthodox belief that have been flowing in the society and being passed as a legacy to future generations. This life might belong to me but is yet owned by people.
I sometimes wish if I could take a few days off and switch to a life I call my own. Where I am nonchalant to the tastes thrust upon my tongue and indifferent to the society that binds me to customs and religion. Where I am not wearied by the days that come and go and I am not worried of the sleepless nights caused by the tension flow! Where I don’t have the drastic pressure to speed up my career and settle down as early as possible because I am growing older each day and soon I will reach an age which society has set as the threshold when girls should get married. Where I am not consumed by thoughts that run everywhere and nowhere and not burdened by the pressure of multiplying money. A life where present matters and I can live in the moment!
Although I am now used to the present way of life and I understand that this is how real life is outside the dream world, there is still a desire to escape to a life where the goal isn’t money. The goal is to live life on our own terms. Choose our own battles. Wake up every morning and decide to do what WE want to. We can’t take the materialistic assets and these valuable piece of papers back to our graves. We can sell and insure our possessions but not our soul. The soul is free. It demands to live by its own, for its own and on its own. It demands to be set open.
I long for a life that I call my own !