Ever been pushed to a point when you have no other option but to pray and surrender yourself to Him? A breakup or a major illness in the family that made you go week on your knees. When your heart doesn’t stop weeping and your lips can’t stop chanting prayers . Ever felt that nagging pain of loosing someone or something very dear so much that you give up on being an atheist and bow down to the almighty ? Ever been forced to that point where you are cornered and you know that only He can deliver you now and so you start fasting, donating and doing all sorts of religious acts that you can.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot over this. Do we believe in God or not ? Why is “Oh God ! Help me ” the first phrase we exclaim in times of trouble and then forget to thank him when things are done. Is man selfish or is God just a source to motivate and console ourselves in adverse situations whereas our subconscious mind doesn’t believe in his existence ?
As a child, I used to pray in the morning was a mandatory part of my schedule and my grandmother wouldn’t serve me breakfast if I missed it. When I grew up I had developed this as a habit and the first thing I did after having my bath was to chant all the Sanskrit shlokas that my grandfather had taught me when I was a child. I would offer money and sweets to God each time I visited a temple. I developed belief in this superpower from the core of my heart.
It was later that I realized, God wouldn’t like me bribe him with flowers and offerings and sing to him for getting things done. If they say that God is everywhere, why do I need to visit a temple and if they say that God is the redeemer of souls and a savior, he would know exactly when I am in trouble and come to my rescue right then. God is like an imaginary friend to me, and I don’t expect him to magically fix things when needed ! Instead I expect him to be by my side so that his presence would be a driving force for me when I break down. There are times when we are moping that nothing is working out in our lives and our prayers are not answered. We get tired and loose our faith. But don’t you think that it wasn’t promised to us that life would be fair and smooth always. Consider the life of God himself , I remember reading an old mythological story where Krishna, the supreme savior died by an arrow that hit him when he was relaxing by a lake and the mighty ruler lost to a small child who hit him unintentionally. He was cursed that his entire family would kill each other and destroy themselves. Is it ‘fair’ to cry in front of this God about life’s fairness?
In fact no matter how unfair life goes, somewhere inside our heart we still don’t stop praying. We know that no matter what, God is still listening to us, working with us and not only watching us from up above but getting his hands dirty in cleaning the mess that we created. Each time when our life takes some rough turn or we screw things, we remember him . Even if he isn’t successful in rescuing us from the pain, unknowingly it is he who teaches us to learn to live with it. I have realized that no matter how much I get angry on him for testing my patience, I still have the nerve to demand him for more whenever I am lost.
Pain and suffering do not last forever.God is subconsciously teaching us to live with them. But aren’t we all greedy ?
Like we call out his name when in dilemma; when awed by His works, shouldn’t we praise him ?