Have you heard the saying, “You’ve got to fall in love with yourself first”? Well, I might not have realized how important this mantra is until recently.
I have a friend who has given up almost all her dreams and decisions for her family. We met a few days back and it was really disheartening to see and feel her dissatisfaction from life. It made me sad to see such a cheerful and lively girl, loose all her moral and just drag her life in the course that her family has forced her into. ( Can’t give many details but trust me, it is shattering!! )
Why is it hard for many of us to do things for ourselves before we do for others? Maybe we believe that the “good” woman sacrifices herself for her family and, increasingly, for her work.
As women, we find it really difficult to remember our own happiness in addition to everyone else’s. We’re terrible at putting ourselves first.
We give and give but forget to give to ourselves!
Women often feel they’re responsible for everything. It’s time to uncover this huge myth in our culture — the idea that putting yourself first is selfish.
Sure, by this I don’t mean to be that girl who thinks that the world should cater to her schedule and desires. Instead, I mean that putting yourself first doesn’t make you a bad person. When you love someone else, it’s instinctive to want to prioritize their desires and needs because we want to make them happy.
But loving others doesn’t mean that you can’t love yourself, too.
Putting Yourself First is important. Period.
The harsh reality is that you’re the only thing in this world that you have full control over. You can’t save anybody else and you definitely can’t force the world to change. It is important to explain yourself the below points:
- You aren’t disregarding the needs of others:
Just because you put your own needs first doesn’t mean you’re disregarding others. Be it a forced marriage, giving up your dreams or quitting your job, even if you give a single thought to why your family needs what they need, you will no doubt realize that it’s impossible for you to do so.
You will come to the discernment that surrendering to others can only make you nasty and resentful.
- Your job can wait:
Overwhelmed mind is slow. It’s always worth it to get adequate sleep, make your “me” time a priority and work will seem more sorted.
- You need to take care:
It’s in our nature to be selfish. We often don’t do things unless we can get something out of them in return. So similarly, take care of your needs first. Only when you’re taken care of, can you help take care of others too.
You should never consider yourself “wrong” for what makes you happy.
The best part about giving yourself permission to finally put yourself first is that you feel great!
It’s only then that you can work towards a deadline with more clarity, handle adversity with more grace, and feel more optimistic about life.
So tell me today, do you care about your own happiness by putting yourself first?
P.S. I hope I never see another friend in the same situation.